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	<title>Mind-NOX | humor</title>
	<atom:link href="http://face.centosprime.com/wordpress/tag/humor/feed" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" />
	<link>http://face.centosprime.com/wordpress</link>
	<description>the faceblog</description>
	<lastBuildDate>Fri, 27 Aug 2010 15:13:49 +0000</lastBuildDate>
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		<title>This is a vendor who cares!</title>
		<link>http://face.centosprime.com/wordpress/this-is-a-vendor-who-cares</link>
		<comments>http://face.centosprime.com/wordpress/this-is-a-vendor-who-cares#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 24 Jun 2010 12:41:09 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>face</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fun]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://face.centosprime.com/wordpress/?p=1803</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[short snippet from an email I received today


Vuvuzela Filter

EyeTV 3.4 Special Edition
For a limited time only

A special edition of EyeTV 3.4 software is available during the 2010
FIFA World Cup that offers a new feature called the “Vuvuzela Filter”.
This filter gives you the option to dampen the buzz of vuvuzela horns
in the stadium during live TV [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>short snippet from an email I received today</p>

<blockquote>
Vuvuzela Filter

EyeTV 3.4 Special Edition
For a limited time only

A special edition of EyeTV 3.4 software is available during the 2010
FIFA World Cup that offers a new feature called the “Vuvuzela Filter”.
This filter gives you the option to dampen the buzz of vuvuzela horns
in the stadium during live TV broadcasts; it can be quickly switched
on and off at any time during the game. To use the filter, control
click to bring up the contextual menu in EyeTV.

Click here for a quick demonstration of the Vuvuzela Filter in action.

<a href="http://downloads2.elgato.com/elgatonews/EyeTVWithVuvuzelaFilter.mov">http://downloads2.elgato.com/elgatonews/EyeTVWithVuvuzelaFilter.mov</a>
</blockquote>

<p>They need to add a second bandpass filter to kill the harmonics. The video only gets rid of the lower frequencies (to my ears).</p>

<p>From the internets ;-)</p>

<p>Use the EQ as a bandpass filter to get rid of the annoying frequency around 233 Hz and the corresponding harmonics (466Hz, 932Hz, and 1864 Hz)</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
<enclosure url="http://downloads2.elgato.com/elgatonews/EyeTVWithVuvuzelaFilter.mov" length="20560804" type="video/quicktime" />
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Microsoft Ads &#8211; Discreet Hair Removal Products</title>
		<link>http://face.centosprime.com/wordpress/microsoft-ads-discreet-hair-removal-products</link>
		<comments>http://face.centosprime.com/wordpress/microsoft-ads-discreet-hair-removal-products#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 30 Sep 2009 10:19:26 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>face</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Readers Digest Centerfolds]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Fun]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://face.centosprime.com/wordpress/?p=1570</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[S.H.Y.N.E.S.S.
G.R.I.P.E.S.
F.O.M.S.
O.M.G.I.G.P. &#8211; do not watch if you aren&#8217;t 16 and male unless you find South Park uproarious.

If you have Silverlight you can wander over to Microsoft&#8217;s History of the Internet

otherwise YouTube has most of the clips, just have to look around. Sort of like looking for discreet hair removal products.
]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QjUzzxAKs20">S.H.Y.N.E.S.S.</a>
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2aA_PEltVTw">G.R.I.P.E.S.</a>
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JyQolo0Xdqw">F.O.M.S.</a>
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xB9fhjnJcB0">O.M.G.I.G.P. &#8211; do not watch if you aren&#8217;t 16 and male</a> unless you find South Park uproarious.</p>

<p>If you have Silverlight you can wander over to Microsoft&#8217;s <a href="http://www.microsoft.com/windows/internet-explorer/nethistory/">History of the Internet</a></p>

<p>otherwise YouTube has most of the clips, just have to look around. Sort of like looking for <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fy4986MpQMY">discreet hair removal products</a>.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>C, E-flat and G go into a bar</title>
		<link>http://face.centosprime.com/wordpress/c-e-flat-and-g-go-into-a-bar</link>
		<comments>http://face.centosprime.com/wordpress/c-e-flat-and-g-go-into-a-bar#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 11 Mar 2009 17:07:11 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>face</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fun]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Music]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://face.centosprime.com/wordpress/?p=1211</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[C, E-flat and G go into a bar. The bartender says, &#8220;Sorry, but we don&#8217;t serve minors.&#8221; So E-flat leaves, and C and G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and G is out flat. F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>C, E-flat and G go into a bar. The bartender says, &#8220;Sorry, but we don&#8217;t serve minors.&#8221; So E-flat leaves, and C and G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and G is out flat. F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough.
<span id="more-1211"></span>
D comes in and heads for the bathroom saying, &#8220;Excuse me. Â I&#8217;ll just be a second.&#8221; Then A comes in, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. Â Then the bartender notices B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and says, &#8220;Get out! You&#8217;re the seventh minor I&#8217;ve found in this bar tonight.&#8221;</p>

<p>E-Flat comes back the next night in a three-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender says, &#8220;You&#8217;re looking sharp tonight. Come on in, this could be a major development.&#8221;</p>

<p>Sure enough, E-flat soon takes off his suit and everything else, and is au natural.</p>

<p>Eventually C sobers up and realizes in horror that he&#8217;s under a rest. C is brought to trial, found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of D.S. without Coda at an upscale correctional facility.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>It&#8217;s a Joke, Son.</title>
		<link>http://face.centosprime.com/wordpress/its-a-joke-son</link>
		<comments>http://face.centosprime.com/wordpress/its-a-joke-son#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 12 Dec 2008 12:35:48 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>face</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fun]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://face.centosprime.com/wordpress/its-a-joke-son</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind
him.  The waitress asks them for their orders.


The man  says, &#8220;A hamburger, fries and a coke,&#8221; and turns to the
ostrich,  &#8220;What&#8217;s yours?&#8221;

&#8220;I&#8217;ll have  the same,&#8221; says the ostrich.

A short time  later the waitress returns with the order &#8220;That
will be $9.40 [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind
him.  The waitress asks them for their orders.</p>

<p><span id="more-1025"></span>
The man  says, &#8220;A hamburger, fries and a coke,&#8221; and turns to the
ostrich,  &#8220;What&#8217;s yours?&#8221;</p>

<p>&#8220;I&#8217;ll have  the same,&#8221; says the ostrich.</p>

<p>A short time  later the waitress returns with the order &#8220;That
will be $9.40  please,&#8221; and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls
out the  exact change for payment.</p>

<p>The next  day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man
says, &#8220;A  hamburger, fries and a coke.&#8221;</p>

<p>The ostrich  says, &#8220;I&#8217;ll have the same.&#8221;</p>

<p>Again the  man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact
change.</p>

<p>This becomes  routine until the two enter again. &#8220;The usual?&#8221;
asks the  waitress.</p>

<p>&#8220;No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato
and a salad,&#8221;  says the man.</p>

<p>&#8220;Same,&#8221; says  the ostrich.</p>

<p>Shortly the  waitress brings the order and says, &#8220;That will be
$32.62.&#8221;</p>

<p>Once again  the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and
places it  on the table.</p>

<p>The waitress  cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. &#8220;Excuse
me,  sir. How  do you manage to always come up with the exact change in
your  pocket every time?&#8221;</p>

<p>&#8220;Well,&#8221; says  the man, &#8220;several years ago I was cleaning the
attic and found  an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and
offered me two  wishes.  My  first wish was that if I ever had to pay
for anything, I would  just put my hand in my pocket and the right
amount of money would always be there.&#8221;</p>

<p>&#8220;That&#8217;s  brilliant!&#8221; says the waitress. &#8220;Most  people would ask
for a million dollars or something, but you&#8217;ll  always be as rich as you</p>

<p>want for as long as you live!&#8221;</p>

<p>&#8220;That&#8217;s  right. Whether  it&#8217;s a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce,
the exact money is  always there,&#8221; says the man..</p>

<p>The waitress  asks, &#8220;What&#8217;s with the ostrich?&#8221;</p>

<p>The man  sighs, pauses and answers, &#8220;My second wish was for a
tall chick with a big butt and long legs who agrees with everything I
say.&#8221;</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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